A series of frequent text messages, compliments, and gifts – just like in a romantic movie. Sounds great, right? Or doesn’t it? The English term love bombing refers to a manipulative tactic that is especially common in relationships.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is a pattern of behavior that typically occurs at the beginning of a relationship, often a romantic relationship. One partner constantly showers the other with gifts, compliments, and grandiose gestures.
The goal of this type of behavior is often to quickly develop an emotional bond with the other partner and to gain control and influence in the relationship.
It can also occur in family and friendship relationships.
What is not love bombing?
Not all love bombing is what it seems. So how do we tell true attraction from love bombing?
Real attraction is mutual and should develop at a pace that is comfortable for both parties. Love bombing, on the other hand, tends to seem one-sided, with one party setting a pace that can leave the other feeling overwhelmed.
Signs
If you are a victim of love bombing, the signs may be apparent to others much sooner than to you.
- The partner’s excessive need for constant togetherness.
- A multitude of generous gifts, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
- Early, frequent, and/or extreme declarations of love (e.g., “I love you,” “You are my soulmate” on the first date).
- Constant praise and attention from one partner, which can feel limiting and suffocating.
- Seeking a quick commitment; for example, in a romantic relationship, immediately proposing marriage or moving in together.
- Ignoring and crossing the boundaries of the other party.
If someone repeatedly crosses stated boundaries—even if they claim to have positive motives—it may also indicate manipulative intent.
The love bomber also lacks self-reflection regarding his own behavior – meaning that if we confront him with the fact that we feel uncomfortable in these situations, he will either be offended or reject our feedback.
The 3 phases of love bombing
(1) Idealization – when the love bomber puts you on a pedestal and sweeps you off your feet.
(2) Devaluation – when jealousy and mood swings appear: one moment they are nice, the next they are abusive in some way.
(3) Abandonment – when you try to set boundaries and confront your partner about their harmful behavior, they may react in several ways: they may not take responsibility or they may even break up.
How do we deal with love bombing?
Slowing down the relationship : Give and ask for time to develop the relationship. Take time to get to know each other and let the relationship develop naturally.
Setting our own boundaries : Set clear boundaries – according to our needs and demands (e.g. you only want to meet the other person once a week).
Move on, even if it’s hard . While you may still be attached to the other person or feel guilty about „leaving” them, remember that nothing is more important than loving yourself. Ending a toxic relationship can make a big difference to your mental well-being. Standing up for yourself can be challenging. Don’t be afraid to lean on your supportive relationships until you’re out of the situation!
Source of the post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCL18P5t-4k/
The post was created by: Gabriella Frikker, Pszichodiák Alapítvány Author’s posts: https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/pszichodiakfg/ Pszichodiák Alapítvány Posts by
the author : https://www.instagram.com/pszichodiak/ Pszichodiák Alapítvány Editorial Team
Reference format:
📚 Frikker G. (2024). Love bombing – Emotional manipulation in relationships. Pszichodiák Alapítvány, Budapest, 2024.11.10.
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Source used:
▫️ Beri, R. (2024). A Study on Love Bombing, Narcissism and Emotional Abuse among Young Adults in Relationship and Situationship. International Journal of Interdisciplinary Approaches in Psychology, 2(6), 22-46
▫️ Strutzenberg, CC, Wiersma-Mosley, JD, Jozkowski, KN, & Becnel, JN (2017). Love-bombing: A Narcissistic Approach to Relationship Formation. Discovery, The Student Journal of Dale Bumpers College of Agricultural, Food and Life Sciences, 18(1), 81-89.
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